'InI' living for the experience of Self-Discovery

Still Standing by Michael C. Pintard
Through smiling lips in my face
conceal deceitful tongues
that send fiery darts
to pierce
my back, my heart, as I walk
that confident walk
I am still standing.

Acquaintances, formerly
cultural critics, political analysts
have suddenly become biographers
speaking volumes 'bout me
they know not,
impressing small groups
with their assessment of me,
putting me in perspective
Michael in retrospect,
Presented by them
who at best
tolerate me,
at worst
wish for my demise,
but, I am still standing.

That rebuke, supposedly in the spirit
of love, the guise of friendship
was really a blow
to break my stride, ease my intensity
on issues
we saw things, differently,
but, I am still standing.

Amidst the rumbling of
sip sip
chit chat
about a little bit of dis
and a little bit of dat,
I am still standing.

Despite the upheaval
'bout my matted hair,
supposedly concerend friends
far and near
checking out rumors
the did hear
'bout drugs...
and me not seeming clear,
I am still standing.

Despite, pseudo-revolutionaries' bitter
refrain
to tarnish my name
with a disinformation campaign
hinting on CIA ties and
elaborate stories about spies
as if they have something
worthwhile to hide,
I am still standing.

I fell
slowly, rising, wobbly, shivering, aching
heartbeat racing, past 170 and counting
mind not wanting to stop
on any one subject,
all are painful.
Scent of blood in my nostrils,
its taste in my mouth,
my body where not numb
feeling foreign to me.
Sweat dripping, mouth groaning,
sending up pleas
"God preserve me."
Truly, nobody knows the trouble I see
nobody, knows my sorrows.
Perplexed, insecure at times
but, I am still standing.

In some I foolishly confide
only to be victimized
by spiritual pride
but, I am still standing.

Even at my end
on some page, some radio show
some T.V. special
some poster, some card
some corner of the minds
of them that hate me
of them that love me

I will still be standing!